Iman is already 13 yr old this year. Life becomes harder for me as he's growing up, still with a series of tantrums everyday even though I had done many things for his treatment, therapies, going to see Ustaz, I'm yet to say NO for all my efforts. Sometimes I noticed, my boy used to be more aggressive every time I came back from the Ustaz place. Something should be done as I think that it might be something mysterious about him, there must be something IN HIM? I mean in his body that makes his condition worse every time I saw an Ustaz.
It was one day when I drove my car, on way way back from Irfan's school, I saw a man on the road, walking around without shoes. I cried. I was thinking what will happen to Tajul Iman when I am no more in the world? Tears running down my cheek. That was during Ramadhan this year, 2016. A week after that the God send me help by sending an Occupational Therapist right in front of me when I brought my three sons, playing at the playground. She said that she is a Freelance Therapist, doing Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy. Alhamdulillah, this girl is doing both. I speak my mind! But unfortunately, she said that her rate is RM100 per hour.
I was happy to see the Occupational Therapist but at the sane time I was upset as I can't make it with my financial constraints, especially after my 6 months half paid leave, also my hubby for his 4 months half paid leave. We had to apply for our 10 months half paid leave years back in 2012 when Tajul Iman was drastically terminated from Autism Lab UKM.. We suffer a lot since that day, as we are still having our financial problem until now. To cover all our financial commitment during that 10 months period. I remembered my hubby was in Tawau that time, and he had to apply his 4 months leave first as that time, I faced problem to find somebody to take care of Tajul Iman when I had to travel all the way from Bangi to Shah Alam everyday.
There was also no single institution to accept my boy for his daycare. There was no qualified maid either. A maid with patience and empathy to take care of my boy during my working hours. The last one was terminated after my daunting experience with her. I witnessed her abusing Tajul Iman in the bathroom when I came back with a cab one day. That was when my car broke down in Putrajaya.
Considering about my son's condition right now, I said to myself. "There must be NO FURTHER DELAY!" . He's already 13 and I'm growing older. What if time comes and I got to see my God?So coming back to my house after I saw the Occupational Therapist, I straight away I got my laptop on my table and started to design a name card for me. This time, it is purposely for Tajul Iman. His funds for his therapy. I pray to the God, Oh God, please give me one way out of this problem. I got to treat my son's behavioral problem with a consistent and frequent therapy. Not later but NOW. ASAP. Before I GO!
My first attempt was to send a mesage via Lotus Note to all my friends at UiTM Dungun. I posted my e mail on the third week of Ramadhan. Taking into account for those who want to benefit the month of Ramadhan for their devotions to the God via "SEDEKAH JARIAH". At first I thought it was a mistake. Is it going to be embarassing? I'm a lecturer? Why do I need to ask for money??? I asked myself again nand again. AM I doing the right thing? But as a Mom's instinct and efforts, I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR MY BOY regardless on what people say. Are they contributing anything for all the damages my boy had made, to my car windscreen? To my TV, refrigerator, washing machine? and when my boy was critically injured himself in the midst of the night? Do they willing to help me? I was the one who drove my car with my hubby to the emergency room!
I had both positive and negative feedback, after I sent the e mail. Ahamdulillah, they are mostly positive feedback. Sadly to say. among all those positive feedback, I counter a few people sending me some text messages:
1. advising me not to bee too desperate until I might make used of my own boy for people's sympathy, to get rid of my financial constraints
2. somebody text to me asking about my total household income
3. the Kebajikan Staf people called me and said that they will help me to support Tajul Iman's therapy. She said, I don't have to send that kind of e mail as if there's no help from my own organization.
4. Some negative feedback via text messages from unknown numbers. I just delete all of them. I forgive them for all their statements. Only God knows THE HEART OF A MOM!During Raya Festival I came to see my friend who is working at UiTM Perlis. She suggested to me that I should forward my e mail to all UiTM branches as to her, there's nothing wrong. It's just an e mail from a mom, who really concern about her special son! So on 17th of July I forwarded my e mail to other branches.
I knew that my boss is not happy with what I'm doing but as far as I'm concern, the "kebajikan staff" department will just help me in terms of issuing "Borang Sara Ubat" and that might be subject to the available budget from UiTM. As we know Malaysian Government is now having a financial crisis. I'm just doing my own effort so that I won't have to rely solely on my employers.
My focus now is to treat Tajul Iman as much as I can. Of course, they will support me in terms of Iman's Therapy but not for Irfan which I consider him not serious as compared to Tajul Iman, but I can't just leave him that way. Irfan must also go for his own therapy and home tuition for special kids and I don't think my organization will be able to cater both two boys in terms of their educational needs. Irfan is already 10 yr old but STILL CAN'T READ and MANAGE himself! Attached is my name card for those who want to contribute for my son's therapy. His BSN account number 0511529000111162 (MUHAMMAD TAJUL IMAN B. TAJULDDIN) My Bank Islam acc 12029020643689 (NORLAILA MAT TAHIR) and my hubby's Maybank acc 163019388893 (TAJULDDIN MUHAMMAD)
Teruskan usaha. Saya doakan dari jauh. Situasi yg sama sedang saya hadapi. Kami sekeluarga (4 anak) hidup di ibunegara ni dengan berbekalkan pendapatan isi rumaj yg lebih kecil, kos terapi yg lebih mahal di ibukota ini, kos sewa rumah yg meruntuh jiwa, kos tol pelbagai highway yg mahal dan minyak serta masa terbuang mengharung kesesakan ibukota utk urusan anak autism setiap hari, dan kos makan yg amat mencabar.
ReplyDeleteNak beli rumah pun tak mampu. Berbekalkan pendidikan saya dan isteri yg hanya di peringkat diploma, kami harungi juga segala perbelanjaan demi anak2. Taska swasta, tadika swasta (faham2 sahaja kosnya), kos day care, kos van sekolah....banyak lagi la. Sehinggakan kami nak lunch pun takut sebab kos lunch yg amat mahal walaupun hanya nasi dan telur goreng.
Muka memang dah tebal asyik meminjam duit rakan2. Nak buat 2 kerja, siapa pulak nak jaga anak di waktu malam. Kalau ada yg sudi pun tentu harga mahal....maklumlah ibunegara.
Kami hanya mampu mengadu pada Allah sahaja. Bukanlah mengadu pasal anak oku tapi mengadu utk diberikan kekuatan diri sendiri. Mana tidaknya anak saya pukul 3-4pagi baru tidur.
Kereta kemik dan calar balar anak perlakukan, xpa asalkan badannya tak kemik atau calar balar. Sedang usahakan untuk menukar kereta agar kos hutang bulanan menjadi lebih rendah.
Dalam masa yg sama kami sentiasa berdoa agar dapat kerja di negeri/daerah yg kos hidup lebih rendah dan tanpa tol utk ke sana ke mari dan kos jaga anak2 yg jauh lebih murah. Apakan daya belum tertunai, usaha tetap usaha.
Bagi orang lain yg tidak melalui seperti kita, pasti mereka memandang kita mengada2 minta bantuan. Doakan sahaja kebaikan utk mereka itu. Jangan dilayan dengan sakit hati yg akan menaikkan stress kita.
Ketika ini kami sedang membuat kira2 utk adjust perbelanjaan utk allocate kos bagi terapi kuda (rm100 utk sesi 30min). Tak mengapa, sekurang2nya kita ada anak yg menanti kita di syurga kelak.
Oleh kerana keadaan anak kita sama, saya sebelum ini seorang yg malas membaca tapi sejak dikurniakan anak hebat ini, saya menjadi rajin membaca jurnal2 dan kajian2 autism. Dan tertarik dengan kaedah pengurusan tingkah laku autism yg dibuat di Israel. Ya saya sedang usahakan cara yg dipraktik di Israel.
Bila difikirkan perjalanan hidup dengan kurniaan anak autism ini saya jadi gembira. Kereta saya servis sendiri, kemik2 repair sendiri, retak2 repair sendiri, aircond kereta jahanam pun baiki sendiri walaupun tiada ilmu berkaitan kereta sebelum ini. Banyak jugak dapat jimat.
Berak masih merata, mengemop dah jadi senaman harian. Depa tiada anak autism tak kan mampu memahami. Semoga Allah mengampunkan kita semua. Bertabahlah. Nescaya Allah mudahkan dan beri rezki yang tidak kita sangka. Tidur kita? 2 jam sehari sudah mencukupi.
Sedikit tambahan....sejak mula saya dan isteri berkahwin, kami tidak duduk bersama atas gaktor kerja. Anak autism adalah anak kedua kami. Saya balik hanya weekend sahaja. Kini baru 1 tahun saya duduk bersama selepas diizinkan rezki kerja yg membolehkan kami duduk serumah setiap hari. Syukur ya Allah. Terima kasih wahai isteriku kerana dikau kuat, gagah & tabah mengurus empat anak seorang diri di ibunegara sepanjang perkahwinan kita. Walaupun tanpa bantuan dari parents dan adik beradik kita. Tabahnya dikau kerana dikau sendiri melarang ihsan utk parents kota menemani mu sepanjang suami mu ini duduk jauh dan hanya pulang weekend.
ReplyDeleteTerima kasih kepada rakan semua. Yang sama kapal dgn saya. Jauh di sudut hati rasa saya amat bersyukur dgn kurniaan Tuhan buat kami sekeluarga. Berbanding dengan situasi kalian. Pengalaman saya sambung belajar di UKM selama 8 tahun, yang berakhir juga dgn kegagalan saya mendapat Phd banyak mengajar saya. Betapa peritnya hidup di bandar sehingga kami suami isteri terpaksa akur dgn potongan biro angkasa RM4000 seorang. Sebab itu saya kembali ke Dungun. Tak sanggup nak teruskan hidup dengan duit RM5 kadang2 utk meneruskan perjalanan merentas Highway dari Bangi ke Shah ALam. Isi minyak dgn duit siling pun pernah. Tapi Allah maha kaya. Dipermudahkannya segala urusan kerana perjalanan saya merentasi Shah ALam, Puncak ALam dan Bangi kerana Allah, demi mendidik anak bangsa dan berkongsikan sedikit ilmu yang dipinjamkan olehNya buat saya sementara bermusafir di dunia ini.
ReplyDeleteAssalamualaikum puan.
ReplyDeleteSedih saya baca coretan puan. InsyaAllah saya akan cuba forward kan kad abg tajul iman pada mana2 individu atau institusi. Sy ada sepupu yg mengalami masalah autisma ni dan sy faham kesusahan ibubapa mereka menguruskan anak2 istimewa ni. Mereka telah mengusahakan sebuah autism cafe utk kanak-kanak autism di shah alam semata2 utk melatih. InsyaAllah kesusahan puan dan suami akan terbalas nanti.
Dari bekas pelajarmu,
Razhan