Tajul Iman Autism child

by:Sandra Harris, Ph.D., professor emerita at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology and executive director of the Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center at Rutgers University.

Sources of Stress for Autism Siblings

Raising a child with autism places some extraordinary demands on parents as individuals and on the family as a whole. Prime among these demands is the lack of enough hours in the day to do all one wishes. Specifically, the time involved in meeting the needs of a family member with autism may leave parents with little time for their other children.

Many parents feel that even as they do all they can for their child with autism, they are always struggling with how best to respond to the needs of the family as a whole. They say that although their own life as an individual may be put “on hold” and a couple may share an understanding of the need to make sacrifices on behalf of their child with autism, few parents are willing to make that same demand of other children in the family. As a result, there is a continual tension between the needs of the child with autism and those of the other children.

Not all siblings will experience these stressful issues, but here are some to be aware of:

• Embarrassment around peers; jealousy regarding amount of time parents spend with their brother/sister
• Frustration over not being able to engage or get a response from their brother/sister
• Being the target of aggressive behaviors
• Trying to make up for the deficits of their brother/sister
•  Concern regarding their parents’ stress and grief
• Concern over their role in future caregiving

Many of the suggestions provided below are things parents can do within the family to help a child understand what autism is all about, to improve interactions among the children in the family, and to ensure brothers and sisters grow up feeling they have benefited from the love and attention we all need.